If you have not received the full Gospel, then please stop reading this and go get it. You will not understand this, even if you think you do.
If you have any unconfessed sin in your life, then you are not right with God and you will not understand this, even if you think you do. Please go ask God to show you how you are grieving Him, and ask Him to help you deal with it. Then, please come back here and revel in what, I believe, He wants to show you. I am so full of His joy to be talking about these things!
If you have not read my testimony, which consists of numerous blog posts, please stop reading this now and go read them all, from the beginning, starting with "Well, You're Wrong, And I'm Going To Tell You Why." You will eventually work up to this post, and then it will mean something.
If you have done all of those things, you will recognize the image in the picture, above. I am going to talk about "those guys."
Right now, Jesus is setting many people free, and I was mercifully blessed to be one of them. It has been a little over two months since Neptune Beach in Jacksonville, Florida, and Jesus has been giving me more and more understanding every day. Of course He is. I pleaded for understanding, and God is faithful. He has been telling me why I was wrong.
I was wrong because Satan had disabled me and made me ineffective. There was a spiritual battle going on inside me. I had believed in Jesus, had repented towards God, had been baptized in water and set free from being a slave to sin, and had enjoyed numerous Holy Spirit experiences. I had been chasing after God, loved Him and His children dearly, and had been practicing what the Church preached. But, the Church failed to disciple me, and what I thought was "the Church" actually drove me out of their midst -- because I was actually following Jesus. I was isolated and alone, and I wandered back into the world. God was with me the whole time, and not once did I think He had left me, but I was not producing any good fruit that will last. Eventually, I pleaded for understanding, so God pruned me, took out some garbage, and fertilized me so I would be more fruitful. Thank you, Jesus!
Realizing I had been set free from evil spirits was a disconcerting and humbling experience, especially since I believed I was okay with God and doing His work. I was naive and deceived. That is why we need to be discipled, and that is what I am trying to do here.
I am going to talk about some of the spirits that were driven from me, but first I need to talk a bit about what is in the Bible about this. There are numerous references to "spirits" throughout the Bible, too many to cover here. Searching for the word spirit can provide the basis for a very good meditative study -- there are 563 occurrences in the NIV Bible. I'm just going to talk about Jesus and Peter in Matthew 16, Mark 8 and Luke 9.
Jesus asked his disciples who they thought he was, and Peter responded that he was the Messiah. Jesus was pleased and told them that Peter was being influenced by God when he said this. Soon after, Jesus told them he would be killed, and Peter became upset and began to oppose Jesus. Jesus called him "accuser," which in their language was pronounced "satan." Peter was being influenced by the darkness at that moment, but a week later he got to see Jesus transfigured.
The point is, people are going to be influenced by evil and they are going to sin, even after being born again1 and being baptized in water and spirit. That is why Jesus commands us to love everyone, especially sisters and brothers in Christ, and that we are to always forgive, every time we are wronged, no matter who wrongs us. We are not to treat Satan that way, however. We are to cast him out! These are things we must learn and practice, if we want to experience victory.
At Neptune Beach, the beloved brother who Jesus used to set me free spoke numerous things during the process. He basically announced the generic descriptions and names of the evil spirits he encountered, as the Holy Spirit revealed them. I am convinced God wanted me to know what had been inside me, at least to some extent. There was also a lot going on I knew nothing about.
"God, I believe in You. I believe in you, Jesus. I repent, and I ask you to set me free. Come with your Holy Spirit. Fill me up, right now."He then began speaking in tongues, and when I heard him shout, "Freedom!," I knew something was happening. Then he said, "Sexual sin," and he cast it out. That certainly got my attention. He only said it once. I thought I had been doing pretty well in that department, but since then Jesus has shown me that his standards are very high, and there were things hanging around from very early in my life. They are gone now, but they can, and will, come back, if I let them.
I don't remember the order of the rest, and not everything was announced, but I will tell you what I remember and what I have learned since.
False Tongues -- This spirit was preventing me from speaking in tongues. I had tried it in the past, but it always seemed to be forced and fake. That's what the spirit wanted me to think. I actually did do a lot of, "la la la-ing" while I was being set free, and at first I was afraid I was faking it, but it was a spirit that was making me feel that way. It took me several weeks after Jacksonville to actually learn and practice how to speak in tongues. Being an analytical/engineer, it was hard to let go and not feel self-conscious. My wife eventually told me that she simply did it in her head, and I said, "Oh." The next morning, I spent more than an hour doing it in my head, and I didn't want to stop. Now I do it all the time, and God rewards me with revelation frequently.
Anger -- I thought I had forgiven people for the things I knew about, but when it came to spiritual matters I was angry. God's Holy Spirit fed me Truth, but the demons cloaked themselves while they fed me lies about other people and discouraged and frustrated me. Diabolical. A number of the blog posts I deleted seemed to be in a spirit of anger, and that is why I got rid of them. I have since found that anger can creep in at any time, and I have to catch myself and renounce it, before it takes root. It is a pheasant, and it can easily come back.
Religious Spirit -- I wasn't sure what that one was all about, but I have since learned, because there are a number of "religious things" I no longer do. I got rid of my "scripture for the day" calendar. Don't need that. I also stopped doing daily Bible reading. That is something I was taught to do by men as a "vital spiritual habit." I still look at the Bible, and refer to it often, but not "religiously." Jesus wants us to follow HIM by following the Holy Spirit. I have discussed things about the Bible relatively recently, so you should know what I am talking about.
There is one other thing about this particular unclean spirit that is subtle but very important. I no longer pray before I do things, as if I need to ask God to help me do something, or as if I am obligated to say some sort of talisman in order to be successful. I certainly talk with Jesus all of the time, give Him praise and thanks, and spend more and more time in private with Him to understand strategy and tactics and to pray His Will, but the spirits that created the doubts or obligations for certain behaviors are gone. Thank you, Jesus! Frequently praying in tongues helps a lot, whether I do it silently, in whispers or out loud, and it helps me to connect my spirit with God's. That is why He gave us tongues. To be sure, when I am with other brothers and sisters in Christ, I usually feel called to pray to God aloud and in English in order to unite us and praise Him corporately. That glorifies Him.
Bottom line: Jesus wants me to follow the whispers of His Holy Spirit as I walk around in my life, and He doesn't want me doing things out of "religion." He hates religion. I think this is a big issue in the Church. It needs to be cast out!
Legion -- Early in my walk, I became fascinated with the story in Mark 5 about the man with the "legion of demons." Our family was staying in a hotel, and while I was swimming in the pool with my kids, I found a place that echoed, and I began quoting what the demon said in verse 9. I am not going to say it here because I don't want to open that door back up again. I don't believe I actually had a legion of demons in me, but one that had taken on that name was certainly there. He's not now. Thank you, Jesus!
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| Leading Mom out to be baptized. I'm the bald one. |
So, I am not angry or bitter about anything, and have much more compassion and understanding now for everyone. I saw a meme on Facebook that said something like:
Every person is going to live forever; it's just a matter of where.
The demons were telling me lies about people, but now I have God's heart for everyone. I tremble and my heart is broken as I see people wallow in sin, without any knowledge they are heading for a cliff. At the same time, I am constantly full of hope, and if things don't turn out as I might hope, I just hope some more, and I let Jesus deal with as much as I can.
We do not know what is in us, and we are all sheep without a shepherd, even if we have the Gospel, unless we are following the Holy Spirit. This is why we must always love one another, pray for one another, forgive one another and forsake the temptations of this world. We are in a war, and we must understand who is "friend" and who is "foe." We must not get proud, or we will fall. We must stay united, or we will be defeated. We already have the Victory; the demons must obey us. Let's act like we believe it.
I need to say this one thing: The Church failed me. I forgive them. They did not know what they were doing. They should have made sure I had the Holy Spirit, delivered me from any unclean spirits, and discipled me. Like I say, I forgive them -- absolutely! I am the Church, and this is why I am writing these things. It is how I believe Jesus wants me to help build up the Body of Christ. If we stick to what the first disciples did, which is written in the Book of Acts, we can avoid these problems and be effective, but our enemy is cunning, and he has been messing with the saints for hundreds of years. We cannot fix this by ourselves, but Jesus can. He will deal with it through us, but we must be obedient to Him, and Him alone.
Thank you, Jesus, for "pulling my bacon out of the "fire," and for giving me these experiences so I gained understanding. You were right. I was wrong, and you've explained why. It's time to help others understand what they need to do to get where you want them to be. Please help me do that.
All glory to God. Thank you, Jesus!
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UPDATE, May 31, 2022...
1This sentence was altered to reflect an update in another post.
UPDATE, January 22, 2023...
I am going to quote a similar testimony that is very open, honest, and compelling. It was published on Facebook and I am including a link to the post here. It happened a week after I was set free.
This screen shot is the first part of it. I will quote all of Rachel's story, below.
Rachel's story...
June 25th 2016 : Day of water baptism
Juno Beach Park, Florida, USA
I (Rachel) was so excited to get baptized at the beach, in the ocean, one of my favorite places in the world. I was ready! I repented from EVERYTHING and I told Jesus that I wanted to follow Him no matter what His plan was. I was ready to let go of my old self completely. I was excited and kept saying how ready I was. When Torben invited those who wanted to get baptized to the front of the church, he asked us what we wanted to bury and wash during our baptism. In my head, I knew it was homosexuality and my unholy soul tie with Jessie, lust, anxiety, control, fear and anything else. Torben then asked who felt a battle inside, and I did a little bit (under all the excitement), so I raised my hand about half way, then put it down, but Torben saw me and pointed me so I knew God was telling us that I was to be the first to be baptized later.
During the ride to the beach, I prayed to God and submitted to Him all my sins and my old self. I felt the urge to get baptized immediately. We got at the beach about 45 minutes before the baptism, and I started getting a bit anxious because I knew it was near. I could start to hear Satan’s lies in my head, giving me fear. Then when people started quickly arriving from the group, the crowd grew bigger and the anxiety kicked in! I started to cry and I wanted it done right now. I wanted to be free and feel freedom and peace. I found Torben in the crowd to let him know I was in the first ones he had chosen at the church earlier, and then I got lost in the crowd again. The tears kept falling and my heart was beating fast. The group was under the pier, so we all had to move right on the beach and then the baptisms could start. I just followed the crowd, saw Torben get in the water and then he said ‘’where is the first one?’’. I ran to him through the crowd, crying and shaking. I felt anxious but so ready to be free, totally free! Torben and Ilze asked me what I wanted to wash and burry. I cried out my relationship of homosexuality, lust, control, anxiety, fear, everything! I got on my knees, and died with Christ in water.
When I got out of the water, rose with Christ, I felt empty, like nothing had happened. No more excitement, no more anxiety, but no freedom, no peace, no joy. I didn’t understand. Satan started lying to me right away. While Torben and Ilze were praying for me, I felt like it wasn't working. Satan was telling me it didn’t work, everyone was looking at me, oh no, what happened! When they asked me to speak in tongues, I just babbled anything. It lasted about 5 to 10 seconds from what I can remember. I was thinking ‘’I'm not feeling anything, why did this not work?’’. Torben went to talk to the crowd and got replaced by a man with a blue shirt, who continued praying for me with Ilze. Torben announced to the crowd that I spoke in tongues, that there was a battle going on right now and demons were manifesting themselves, so they would keep praying for me. But I didn’t hear that, and didn’t feel it either.
We stayed in the water for about 30 minutes and they kept praying but I felt doubt and confusion. Some demons manifested and came out. I remember crying a lot, and coughing. At one point, I even lifted my hand and was repeating ‘’freedom, freedom, freedom’’ to see if I would feel it, but I didn’t. I could only hear Satan’s lies to me. Then we got out of the water and sat on the beach. Other people came to pray for me. A lady with a white
t-shirt replaced Ilze. Lots of demons came out, some I didn’t even knew I had. These demons made me cry, scream, fight with my arms and legs, cringe my face, and twist my neck. At one point, I remember looking at the lady that was praying for me and laughing at her, looking at her with an evil look. The real me inside was scared. I could feel the demons inside too. So I let them out, as much as I could.
At one point, the man with the blue shirt asked me if there was something I was still holding on to. Jessie was standing in front of me, getting demons cast out of her. I pointed at her and cried. I knew Satan was making me hold on to her, even if I was ready to let her go. I was scared because she was my source of comfort and I was letting her go to jump in faith in something I didn’t know. I had never felt Jesus’s comfort, so I didn’t know what to expect. I turned around in the sand and faced the other way to stop Satan from distracting me with Jessie. A few moments later, Jessie, led by the Holy Spirit, came to tell me ‘’Let me go’’. We looked in each other’s eyes for a few seconds, and I could feel that demon inside me getting mad. The man with the blue shirt and the lady with the white shirt prayed specifically for that. I cried that demon out and then felt such a big need for physical comfort. The man with the blue shirt, while praying for me at that moment, not knowing I had that need for comfort, held my hand and rubbed his cheek against mine and said in my ear ‘’this is Jesus’’. It was the most powerful part of the whole experience for me, because I experienced Jesus’s comfort and love.
Lots of demons manifested and came out screaming, fighting, crying, coughing deeply. When a demon would come out, I felt empty and relieved, but still stuck and Satan would lie to me and make me doubt that I could receive the Holy Spirit and feel freedom and peace. I remember screaming my lungs out at one point, but my ears could not hear. I couldn’t feel my legs, and my arms and neck were numb. I remember hearing prayers around me louder and louder, telling demons to GET OUT and every time I would feel them with more intensity until they got weaker and weaker and got out.
I remember the man with a blue shirt asking me how I felt, and I was so embarrassed because now Satan was using me to make a show, get attention, which had always been something hard to deal with and let go for me. That was the old me, but Satan was using it to control my thoughts, bringing it back with force and intensity. I confessed that sin to the people who were praying for me. I told them this was all real, I was not faking, I did not want to make a show, and they could stop praying for me, that it wasn’t working, that I was wasting their time and prayers. But they encouraged me and told me they were going to stay on this beach for hours and were not going to leave until everything was out! People prayed for me for more than 2 hours on that beach. Lots of other people that I knew and didn't know came to pray for me during that time.
When the prayers were over, my friends surrounded me. I was exhausted. I felt so embarrassed, but I still felt a big relief. I started to realize that there were some things I had a harder time letting go of, like my unholy soul tie with Jessie, doubt, shame, and all of Satan’s lies. I don’t remember much from there to church because I was lost in my thoughts and Satan’s lies.
That evening, back at the church, I wanted to isolate myself. I felt so happy for everyone that received freedom, but sad because I didn't feel it for myself. I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t able to do it, why I couldn’t have enough faith that I was free and just let go. I tried to read Romans 6, to see if I could relate to that truth, but my mind couldn’t concentrate. I was still waiting on the baptism of the Holy Spirit. Then, I saw Ilze and went to say thank you for her prayers today. She told me to pray in tongues because I could. I didn’t understand why she said that to me because in my head, Satan was telling me no, it didn’t work.
The demon of seeking attention was very present during the evening. I felt shame and embarrassment. I knew I needed prayer but didn't want to ask for it and didn't want to give Satan the chance to make a show again. Jessie asked people to pray for me even if I didn't want to. Three men started praying for me. Demons manifested themselves. When there was too much of a crowd, one of the men took me aside and asked me if there was a traumatic event from my past I needed to let go of. The only thing I could think of what maybe a lack of physical attention and comfort from my family. So I forgave them and let it go by confessing it. I also forgave myself for everything I did, all my sins. I started confessing everything to God, and finally I gave control to God of my relationship and unholy soul tie with Jessie. I felt that freedom for a brief moment. But then Satan still wanted a show and attention, and I was so embarrassed.
While the men were still praying for me, I heard another one say that I was doing it for a show. I don’t know if he actually said that or if it was Satan making me hear those words, but I felt right there the biggest embarrassment and just wanted to leave. I was actually walking away from them and tried to leave. I knew in my heart it was all real, this battle was all real and I was not faking. Satan was doing it for the attention and using that from my past against me and I believed him. I could feel the difference between my real self and the demons inside of me. When the man that had said that approached, I hid my face in my hands and turned my back to him. At that time, I felt mad at him for saying that and felt judged, but now I realize it was probably the force of the Holy Spirit in him making the demon inside of me turn away and be scared. I told them this was not for attention and that was the lie Satan was using against me to resist prayer. They believed me and prayed more for me, but I just wanted to get out of there. I even doubted my eternal salvation because I thought that if I didn't speak in tongues, I wasn't saved. I wasn't going to feel that freedom, it wasn't working for me.
Back at the hotel that evening, I realized I was free from my fear of men and from my unholy soul tie with Jessie. Even if I thought I didn’t speak in tongues, even through all the shame, I still felt some freedom. I realized how through the last days, mostly men prayed for me and ‘’got in my bubble’’, and I felt no fear, no anxiety, no discomfort. I used to be scared and very uncomfortable near men, but Jesus healed and delivered me from that. Then I realized that I viewed my relationship with Jessie very differently. She is my sister in Christ now. She’s my family, just like all the other disciples of Jesus. I felt free from that control and sadness and unhealthiness. I also started to view physical comfort from others as God showing me His love. It wasn’t another person hugging me, it was Jesus through that person. I started to experience the love and comfort of God like I never did before.
On Sunday morning, I didn't want to go church because I still felt that embarrassment from Satan seeking attention through me. I didn't want to see the people that prayed for me and feel judged because of Satan’s lies. But I still went, and it was a regular Sunday morning church worship when we arrived. I felt so uncomfortable in there, and I didn't want to be part of that setting and environment. After half a worship song, Jessie and I stepped out and sat down at tables outside the doors. The Holy Spirit was clearly telling me I needed to pray and read my bible. I read Romans 6 again and again, trying to realize how free I was and have faith in the truth. I sat at a table, in a corner, with my back turned to people because I was ashamed still. Satan kept lying to me and I kept listening. I cried and felt desperate. Jessie encouraged me to do exactly the opposite of what Satan wanted me to do. So I turned around and sat facing the people and smiled. I felt better and stronger.
Then my friends David and Mayah came to sit with us. I explained to them how I still didn't feel free, I didn't understand why I didn't feel free, and my faith was weak. Mayah explained to me that the first step was true repentance, and I really experienced that. When I ran to Torben in the water to get baptized, I felt at that moment that I was letting go of everything for Jesus. And even the demons that manifested after, I wanted to let go of them. She made me think of anything from my past that I had to forgive and let go. I thought of the lack of physical attention and comfort from my family, but I had already forgiven them and let that go. Mayah prayed for me and I felt God surrounding me with His arms and peace. That peace even entered Jessie that was sitting next to me. I felt much better. Then the next step was having faith and truly believing that I was free! That's where Satan was lying to me. That realisation was an important part in my freedom.
After eating lunch, while waiting for Torben’s message, I decided to pray by myself for the baptism of the Holy Spirit. Every time I tried to speak in tongues, I felt a big knot in my stomach and throat and couldn’t get any sound out of my mouth. I thought it was a demon still wanting to come out, but didn't want to let it manifest because of what others would think around me. ‘’Look at her still doing a show!’’ was Satan’s lie in my head, so I just stopped praying and trying.
When the kickstart conference was over, we said goodbye to our precious brothers and sisters. I still felt that embarrassment and shame. I even cried because I knew I didn't have that support for prayer back home.
When we got to the hotel, I rolled myself up in my bed and cried. I felt desperate that I would not get that peace and freedom. I started to pray to God and ask Him for comfort. I continued reading Romans 6 and telling myself and out loud that I was free, that it was the truth, but I still doubted. While talking to Thierry and Jessie and seeing how much they were free, they explained to me that they knew I was going to get baptized in the Holy Spirit and I started to have more and more faith that I would.
We went to eat at the Ihop restaurant near the hotel. I heard Jessie speaking in tongues for the first time. The Holy Spirit showed me I needed to pray for the waitress. I told her I felt the need to pray for her because I could feel a deep pain inside her, and she was really happy because she was a disciple of Jesus too! We held hands and prayed together. I could see in her eyes God brought her peace through that prayer, and I felt empowered from that.
So back at the hotel, I realized I was ready for my baptism of the Holy Spirit (which I thought I didn’t have yet) and I had done everything else truly. I asked Jessie and Thierry to pray for me because I knew that with them, I was not embarrassed and they knew I wasn't faking anything. I started the prayer, asking God to set me free and fill me up, they continued, prayed in tongues, and asked me to say anything and pray in tongues too. I just started saying anything and could feel that same resistance from inside my stomach and throat. But with their encouragements, I kept talking, louder and louder. I didn't think that was it, but then they stopped and told me YOU JUST SPOKE IN TONGUES! And they were 110% convinced and sure of that. I trusted them and believed them. Then I associated that feeling with the truth and realized that I really did speak in tongues! I realized I had actually prayed in tongues in the water, after my water baptism. Torben had announced it to the crowd and I didn't hear it, so I didn't believe it and I didn't know what it was. And then the freedom hit me! … Thank God! Peace and joy overflowed my heart. I felt so relieved and everything was clear now. I casted Satan out of myself and told him to leave and realized that power and authority I had over him because of Jesus. It was surreal but normal at the same time. It wasn't as intense as I thought it would be, but it was very real.
Thierry, Jessie and I practiced praying in tongues together, to get what it felt like and cast away what was blocking us from doing it. Then we prayed for Thierry's Tourette syndrome healing and I never had so much faith. I knew he was going to be healed. I prayed with all my heart and he was delivered instantly and healed. I had so much faith and nothing could make me think that he wasn't healed. He felt the struggle, but knew we had authority over it, so it left him and he was free from that. We talked about our experiences from the kickstart weekend for hours and it felt so normal and good.
I feel empowered to save the world! This is life, this is living, and this is forever! My eyes see the world differently and everything looks brighter now. I am free thanks to Jesus!
Since then, I have baptized in water, cast out demons, prayed in tongues many times, prayed for the sick, healed the sick, am being physically healed through prayer, shared the gospel, made Jesus the priority of my life, followed the Holy Spirit in every step... I’ve been LIVING!
My name is Rachel and I am a disciple of Jesus.
Homosexuality is demonic, and it can be cast out. Jesus can deal with anything.
Anything.
Praise His Name.