My mom died very peacefully this past Wednesday evening, October 23, 2024.
I took this photo during the early afternoon. That is the way her hands were.
She waited for a particular caregiver to arrive for the overnight shift. Both my sister and I were with her.
Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you. (Exodus 20:12 NIV)
It has not been easy. I visited Mom almost every day during this past year to help make sure she was getting what she needed, but mostly to spend time with her and let her know I was there.
I was coached by many people, particularly my sister. She had helped care for her in-laws several years ago and the wisdom she shared with me helped me adapt to our mom's situation.
My sister advocated for our mother's health and our brother watched over her finances. My sister lives five hours away from Midland, and my brother lives out of state. I am the eldest.
Mom was in the memory unit for about two years. She was very strong physically, but became an elopement risk and needed help staying safe. She was not very happy to be "put in jail," as she called it in the beginning, but it is what she wanted when she was of sound mind and she eventually became generally happy in her surroundings, although she could be "growly bear" at times.
The caregiving staff loved her. In her last days, many of them came in to visit her on their own time. One came in on her day off to twirl Mom's hair. My sister and I were very touched.
The caregiver who was with us when she died said a couple of days before that Mom had been making strange noises, almost like "tongues." I told her that's what it was. She said it was like a language.
In her final months, Mom had started making strange babbles. Most people said nothing about it, but I knew what it was. I knew about her history.
Back in 2016, she was baptized in the ocean and received the Holy Spirit. For those interested, I told some of her story in a previous blog post: The Rage of Neptune.
I do not recall ever hearing Mom "speak in tongues" after being at Neptune Beach, and I do not believe she knew she had that capability. She
continued with her life-long church-going habits until she was no longer
capable of going to church, and I do not recall ever discussing it with her, but as her mental capabilities faded the Holy Spirit made His presence known through her "prayer language," as I call it.
Towards the end, she was not speaking much but her "tongues" would appear as she dealt with stress, like when the caregivers had to move her and take care of her. It was very much like how I use my prayer language when I don't know what to pray for or am under stress myself.
I believe the LORD was letting me know He was in her and that she was okay. I thank Him for that.
(For those who would like more information about this, please read my posts: The Car and the last part of S.W.A.T.)
People were amazed that my sister and I spent as much time as we did with Mom as she was dying. They said that most people do not do that. I told my sister afterwards that I believe it is because people are not comfortable with their own mortality and what death means. I am comfortable with it because I have faith.
Grieving happens along the way when a loved one has a long-term illness or condition. There are a few tears in the end, but generally the final departure is a relief. That is how it was with both of my parents, but not my wife. I lost her during a matter of hours and my grief for her was intense and prolonged.
Both my wife and my mom are now gone, and I am at peace. I sense freedom, freedom to embrace what the LORD has in store for me. I can now travel. During the two years my mother was in Memory Care, I only spent one night away from home. I knew the LORD wanted me in Midland because my mom was here. That constraint no longer exists. The possibilities are endless.
We shall see what happens.
All glory to God.
